Some times I sit in class and I daydream for the entire 96 minutes. I play out scenarios in my head; Constantly wondering what would happen if.. I guess it isn't healthy to let my mind run wild the way I do, but my imaginary life is just so much more appealing. In my imaginary life, I'm good at everything. Good grades, an amazing friend, beautiful, and I have a ton of talent. I can sing, and dance, and I just enjoy life. Not that I don't now. My imaginary life keeps the hope alive in me. I know I cannot and will not be perfect by any means, but I wanna know what it is like to be fully satisfied with myself. I know what you're thinking "You're the only one who can make that happen, Lacey,"
Well, I know that. I'm slowly making it happen. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know. Today, in fourth block, we were reading Beowulf. Even though I should have been listening, I was day dreaming. I was dreaming about prom. See, I realized my problem is that I build things up so much in my head, that real life just isn't as near as satisfying. In my head prom is absolutely perfect. I have the perfect dress, make-up, hair, and of course the perfect date. We go to dinner at a fancy restaurant, where my date insists on paying for my meal, then all of my friends and I pile up in a limo, and we ride to prom together. I'm the envy of every girl's eye. At the end of the night my perfect date kisses me, and from there a beautiful relationship blooms.
...And the POOF. back to being Cinderella. My prince is gone, my pumpkin is back, and what I thought was an extravagant dress is really just a cheap dress from a boutique that I could barely afford.
My mind can play horrible tricks on me sometimes. Don't let it fool you too.
-L
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