"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

Sunday, January 30, 2011

friend·ship (n) [frend-ship]: the state of being a friend

"I get by with a little help from my friends," -The Beatles.
That quote speaks so true. Recently I've needed my friends more than I ever have before. Not only are they super amazing, but they're also good for a laugh or two when I need it the most. Without them I would be so lost and alone. To sum it all up, they are everything to me, and I owe them so much. So, here it goes.
Ashley Breana Kilgore:
Ashley and I met in sixth grade P.E. I'm still not completely sure how the friendship started, but I do know that now we're unstoppable. She's my rock, my ride-or-die chick, my sister from another mister. What ever I choose to call her it still stands that she is my absolute best friend. I can't even begin to describe what we've been through together. We have so many inside jokes that it's hard for people to keep up with our conversations. I think we kind of prefer it that way. Of course we fight, but we always work through it. I can't wait to see where life takes us.
Michael Aaron Spraggins:
Aaron, or as we like to call him, Spraggy, is the best. I met him when he moved to Opelika from Auburn in eighth grade. He was that awkward kid that kept to him self. The same week me moved to Opelika, his step-dad got killed in a motorcycle accident. Of course, my heart went out to him. Me and some friends we to the viewing just for some support, and as they say "the rest was history," I didn't really start  being friends with him till sometime in December of that year. But since then, I haven't been able to get rid of him. He and I go on tons of adventures together. I think it goes without saying that he is my partner in crime. Even though Spraggy gets on my last nerve sometimes, I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Carson Alizabeth Bailey:
I played basketball with Carson in fourth grade. Well, my team played her team. We met again in sixth grade P.E. , yes, the same class as Ashley. It's hard to explain my friendship with Carson. I am always laughing when I'm with her. I've never been in a fight with her, of even been mad at this girl. Carson and I are so much alike that it is almost scary. Spend a few hours with us, and you'll see exactly what I mean.
Walter Lee Shealey:
I met Walter when he was dating a friend of mine. He is so quiet, but believe me, he has a lot to say. At first he didn't really talk to me, but as he got to know me I couldn't get him to shut up. I wouldn't have it any other way. Walter and I are very good friends. I tell him absolutely everything, and he has never once judged me. I don't get to see him very often but I still talk to him pretty much every day. He's one of the few people who can completely turn my day around just by saying "hello,". I love him to death. He's going to tell me that writing about him is a waste of my time, but he doesn't realized how much he means to me. He means a lot, btw.
Ashleigh Thomas:
Sorry I don't remember her middle name. Anyway, when I first knew of Ashleigh I hated her more then I'd ever hated anyone. She dated a guy whom I used to be really close to, and I'd heard horrible things about her. Eventually We settled things and now she's a really close friend of mine. She's amazing, and she's so strong. I could never deal with half of the things she does. She's pregnant with Justin's baby. Justin is the guy that I used to be close to. Skylar Maria's arrival is much anticipated. I can't wait to hold her and love her, and do everything I can to help Ashleigh raise her. She and I haven't been friends for very long, but I know that one day we will be very close.
Tiffany Rochelle Weaver:
Tiffany was one of the first people I met in middle school. She was so weird, and I was amazed by her. Now, she is still weird, but I love her a lot more now. I don't get to see her much, but when I do get to see her, we're always loud. She's pregnant with my future god child.  Tiffany and I always had dreams of our future. Now that it's finally happening, I hate to see that I don't see her in it as much as we'd planned. I still love Tiffany with all of my heart, despite how much we fight.
So you see, I have a different history with each of my friends. They are all so special to me. I love each and every one of you guys, and thank you so much for being there for me when I need ya'll the most. You're so amazing.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Respect (V) [ri-spekt]: to show regard or consideration for

Our parents always raised us to respect our elders. I am very good with being respectful to adults. There comes a point where that adult takes things too far, and I have a hard time being respectful. After all, why give respect when it isn't received?
I believe in respect, chivalry, and southern hospitality. I say yes Ma'am/Sir and no Ma'am/ Sir, and I'm always sure to say please and thank you.
Sometimes I feel like adults think just because we're 'kids' they don't owe us the same respect that we owe them. Sure, they're older and wiser, but we're learning. They are not setting a good example for our younger generations. I say this at the risk of sounding like a child, this isn't fair! Why should I kiss your butt just to be treated like dirt? Every now and then a thank you is in order.
Sorry this blog is so..short and full of complaints. I just really needed to get that off of my mind.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Love (n) [luhv] : the object, thing, or person so liked

"To love another person is to see the face of God." - Les Miserables
The truth is, I know absolutely nothing about love. I don't think anyone does. All I know is, people would give anything for it, myself included. Without love, we are nothing. Love can be anything;  Love for your family, or your pet, even a hobby, or a place. I love a lot of things, and those things I love truly make me happy. I love my dog, Gizzy, I love my family and friends. I love to read and write. I love so very much to be on stage performing, or just being in the theatre in general. I could be in there all alone, and I'd be totally content. I love the sunshine. When it is cloudy outside I just feel sad. Most of all, I love helping other people. I love knowing that I can change someone's life, even if it is a very small change. There are so many things I love. Everyone deserves to find that one special thing and person. I cannot say whether I have really even been in love. People say you just know. It is hard to imagine loving someone so much. Giving them every ounce of love you can muster, and trusting them not to throw that love away. That has happened to everyone at some point in their life, right? Heart break is inevitable when you're a teenage girl.
I hope that when I fall in love, it is as magical as people say. You know, the weak knees, butterflies, the uncontrollable smiles. I want it all. More than anything I want to be that girl. The one who makes his day just by being around.
I actually think about this kind of stuff a lot. I know I'm young, but life moves so fast. I just want to be prepared for it. I always wonder who I'm going to end up with. What if it is someone I know now? What if it is the very last person I would have thought I'd ever fall in love with? I love how unpredictable life can be. I think I'm in love with the thought of falling in love. It is all so exciting, but I have plenty of time to fall in love. Like my mom likes to say, "We'll cross that bridge when it gets here,"

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

anticipation:(n) [an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn] expectation or hope.

I'm currently in the last fourth months of my high school career. Anticipation is building up so quickly that at times I literally feel like I'm going to pop. Showchoir season is about to be in motion. The first competition is this Saturday in Montgomery. Then there is a ton of traveling I'll  be doing in march. Not to mention, a certain special someone's birthday is in March. *ahem* Walter. Then before I know it, it'll be time for Sweeney Todd. I'm so beyond pumped for this. Sweeney is one of my favorite musicals. I know it is gonna be crazy-stressful, but I can handle it. The two things that I'm absolutely most excited for is prom and of course, GRADUATION!
I'm going to prom with one of the most amazing guys I've ever met. I can't fully describe my relationship with Walter. It's one of those things were 'so close, yet so far away'. Not just that he live all the way in Beulah, but that we're really different people. He's so.. quiet, and I'm so... me. He's honestly one of the closest guy friends I've ever had in my entire life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so beyond thankful for having him be in my life. Since I know you're going to read this, I love you Walt. You're the best... and you are NOT a waste of time. Even if you were, I couldn't think of anyone better to 'waste my time' on.
Graduation can't get here soon enough.The day I walk across that stage, everything will change before I  have time to realize what is going on. I'm not sure where life will take me. But I am determined to make something of myself. I want to make my family proud. I want to be the one person that actually chased their dreams, and the one who didn't settle for mediocre. I can't wait to hold not only a high school diploma, but a college diploma too. I'm going places. You just wait and see.

family: (n) [fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] a group of related things or people

My family is a sensitive subject for me. I don't talk about them much at all, but for the sake of the blog, I will. I have my parents, two sisters, and a niece and nephew. The only extended family that I am even remotely close to is my cousin, Jason. You have to understand how hard it is for me to write about some things, so excuse me if I'm a little vague.
I guess I'll start with my parents. They're been together for twenty-five years. The past few years have been anything but happy. Between fighting with each other and fighting with my sisters and me, no one has enough time to be happy. I haven't seen happy in this house for a long while, and I don't expect for it to show up anytime soon. I cannot fully explain the unhappiness that lies within their relationship, it is just that bad. My mom recently tried to commit suicide to try to escape it. January 1, 2011 to be exact. I cannot express the fear in my heart for her life at this point. It's taken me until now to accept that she even tried to do it. That's all I can say about that. I still don't like to talk about that much.
Moving on to my sisters. Jeska and Jazmin. Jeska is pretty much the one person in this house(besides my dog) that I can go to and tell her anything. She doesn't judge me, or question me. She fully has my back, and I can't thank her enough for that. I love hanging out with her.  I don't remember much about Jeska from when I was really little. I do know that she's always been my favorite sister though.
Jazmin is my middle sister. Up until i was seven or eight, Jazmin was my only friend. Were she was, I was. I always looked up to her, and I wanted to be just like her. On her eighteenth birthday, she moved out. She hasn't been the same since. Now she drinks, and lies, and smokes weed. That is not who I want her to be. I want my old sister back so bad. There are rare occasions were she goes back to her old self. She has that childish look in her eye and her smile says it all. That's my sister. Nowadays I feel so much animosity between us. I'm scared  that she and I will end up resenting each other for the rest of our lives.
My cousin Jay is amazing. When we were kids, me and Jazmin would go spend weekends in Reeltown at my aunt's house so we could play with him. Jay is a good bit older than me, but he still knows how to have fun. He used to take us fishing, and we would take baths together in our bathing suits in a blow up pool in the back yard. That was probably the best time of my life. I remember he'd always have cotton candy bubble gum in the refrigerator. After my aunt went to bed we'd sneak into the kitchen and he was give me and Jazmin a piece. I loved tagging along with him everywhere. He is like the big brother I've never had. For the past few years,Jason has been in and out of jails and prisons. I write to him once a week. Despite everything he's done to get where he is now, I still look up to him. He has taught me so much about life.
You see, my family is far from normal. My family is broken and weak. I'm having a hard time actually posting this. This is not something I just go blabbing about. I feel like I need to talk about it to get past it though. Like I said from the beginning, I'm doing this blog to help people understand me. The best way to learn about someone is to start from their roots. I don't want pity about my family. Everyone's family is a little messed up. Mine just happens to be ahead of the game.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

day·dream: (n) a reverie indulged in while awake.

Some times I sit in class and I daydream for the entire 96 minutes. I play out scenarios in my head; Constantly wondering what would happen if.. I guess it isn't healthy to let my mind run wild the way I do, but my imaginary life is just so much more appealing. In my imaginary life, I'm good at everything. Good grades, an amazing friend, beautiful, and I have a ton of talent. I can sing, and dance, and I just enjoy life. Not that I don't now.  My imaginary life keeps the hope alive in me. I know I cannot and will not be perfect by any means, but I wanna know what it is like to be fully satisfied with myself. I know what you're thinking "You're the only one who can make that happen, Lacey,"
Well, I know that. I'm slowly making it happen. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know. Today, in fourth block, we were reading Beowulf. Even though I should have been listening, I was day dreaming. I was dreaming about prom. See, I realized my problem is that I build things up so much in my head, that real life just isn't as near as satisfying. In my head prom is absolutely perfect. I have the perfect dress, make-up, hair, and of course the perfect date. We go to dinner at a fancy restaurant, where my date insists on paying for my meal, then all of my friends and I pile up in a limo, and we ride to prom together. I'm the envy of every girl's eye. At the end of the night my perfect date kisses me, and from there a beautiful relationship blooms.
...And the POOF. back to being Cinderella. My prince is gone, my pumpkin is back, and what I thought was an extravagant dress is really just a cheap dress from a boutique that I could barely afford.
 My mind can play horrible tricks on me sometimes. Don't let it fool you too.

Misfit: (v) to fit badly.

I don't always fit in. Some days, like today, I feel like i stand out. In high school, it is nearly impossible to be yourself and be accepted. Sometimes I wish i could afford to buy new shoes every other day, and have an outfit to fit my mood. But, nope. There is a play we did once at my school. In that play there was a quote that sticks in my head like a sore thumb. "What God gives us to deal with, we deal with,"
I know it is like totally unholy to question God's plans, but sometimes I really can't help it. Why is it wrong to be curious? Sure, curiosity killed the cat, but no knowing will kill you faster. That's how I feel anyway.
 I honestly feel like this 'blog thing' will be good for me. Not to be used as a journal, but as.. we'll call it "The Dictionary of My Life" ... that sounds good.
 Now, back to my original topic, misfits. While I was getting ready for school I was thinking. I don't have a clique. I don't belong anywhere. I'm a misfit. When I really think about it i don't fit into any one category. I'm the most nonathletic person you'll ever meet, I'm not beautiful and rich, and lets be honest, I'm really not all that talented. So it leaves me to wonder where do I fit in? I guess in a sense it doesn't really matter anymore. I've made it this far, why start bothering with it now? In a few months I'll be off to college and I'll basically be a whole new person. I'm not sure where I belong in this world, however, one thing I know is certain, I don't belong in little Opelika, AL.

Monday, January 24, 2011

blog (blɒɡ) (n) a journal written on-line and accessible to users of the internet

My name is Lacey. I live in a small town in Alabama called Opelika. I'm your typical overly-dramatic, boy obsessed, parent-hating eighteen year old girl. There is nothing amazingly spectacular about my life, and I kinda prefer it that way. Now, I know you're wondering, "Why in the hell do I wanna read this?"
To tell you the truth, I don't know either. You see, I'm usually the kind of girl who keeps things to herself. I'm a Scorpio, we're known for being secretive. I'm the kind of girl who is more than willing to give out advice and help my peers, but I can't help myself. I joke my way through my problems which, of course, causes more problems. Now, I'm not going to sit here and write about how much my life sucks, that isn't my intentions. I started this blog to help people understand what goes on in my mind; to understand.. well, me. Have you ever known someone or seen someone and just wished that you could know them? It's like, something about that person intrigues you. If I'm that person for you, you're in the right spot. I've found that by reading my friends' blogs, I've learn a lot about them, like I'm seeing a totally different side of them. I want you guys to see this side of me. I'm not some intense journalist. I've tried the whole 'blog thing' before, and I just didn't have it in me, but now I have a lot to say, and I want to make sure I'm heard. That all people really want,right? To be heard, to be known? I can't promise I'll post everyday, or every week, but I'll for sure keep you informed.