i got lost in your brown eyes.

I've sat here staring at a blank screen for at least fifteen minutes now. So, I turned on the musical station on Pandora hoping it will help me think a little. So far, I've still got nothing.
I want so badly to to write something that is inspiring, or moving, or even something intellectual, but my brain refuses to come out of hibernation. I have spent most of the day cleaning or curled up in bed. The past few days I've just wanted to be alone. There are only a select few people that I really really wanna see, most of which I will see tomorrow at school. Others, well who knows?
I was listening to some old songs today. one song in particular made me think about one person. the lyrics are:

I'm so scared that
The way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I wanna find a hiding place
We used to laugh
We used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and
A touch of your hand
Just make me come unglued
It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth?
Is it fact or fiction
The way I feel for you?
CHORUS:
It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close
I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh, I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated.

Just when I think
I'm under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always
On your lips
They say I'm more
Than just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well I admit that
I've seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye
Oh it's so confusing
I wish you'd just confess
But think of what I'd be losing
If your answer wasn't yes

Repeat chorus

I hate it 'cause
I've waited so long
For someone like you
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated

The last blog I posted.. in some ways I regret posting it, because I'm scared.. terrified, actually. However, in my first blog I promised to be completely honest. So, I won't delete it. I'm going to just take what ever happens. I don't know if mentioned persons have read the blog, but if and when they do, I'll deal with whatever happens. I'm a strong person. I'll take what I can get from him, because I do love him so very much. I'd rather have his friendship than to completely lose him. I'm not strong enough for that. But, I guess we'll see where this goes.
-L