Don't think. Don't Judge. Just listen.

I recently read this book. Just Listen  by Sarah Dessen. This book has so much meaning behind it that I can barely grasp all of it. Here's the summary:
Annabel Greene is the girl who has everything. At least that's who she plays in a commercial for Kopf's Department Store: top student, popular cheerleader, dazzling prom queen surrounded by friends. In real life, though, Annabel is the girl who has nothing: no best friend since her friendship with mean-but-exciting Sophie ended with malicious rumors flying, no peace at home while her older sister's eating disorder preoccupies the family, and no ability to tell anyone what's on her mind.
And then she meets Owen Armstrong- intense, obsessed with music, and determined to always tell the truth, no matter what the consequences.
Can a girl who hates confrontation find a way to connect with a guy who thrives on it? And can Annabel find the courage to tell what really happened the night she and Sophie stopped being friends?
The more I got into the book the more the character Owen made me think. It's still on my mind. The book basically makes me realize that everyone has a story. Things aren't always as they appear. You can make all the assumptions you want, but in the end the only way you'll ever know the truth is if you get involved. Owen explained to Annabel that using words like "something" or "stuff" are place holders. They're used to mask the truth. "R and R" means rephrase and redirect. I think it could easily be applied to real life. Just rephrase a statement that isn't a direct attack toward the person you are talking to.
The most important thing I got from the book is : Don't think. Don't judge. Just listen.  It's self explanatory. People don't take the time to just listen to each other. Maybe it's time to try.
-L

Valentine's Day

Every year around this time couples get extra lovey dovey, and every year, Cupid forgets to visit me. Don't worry, I have yet to turn into one of those women who mope around eating chocolates and watching Lifetime movies all day. The hopeless romantic within me is just dying to get out and do all of those goofy things that love makes you do. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Valentine's Day. The entire day just has this.. vibe to it.
I can't help but to want to spend my day with someone truly special to me. I want to make Monday a day amazing for someone I love very much. I'm both dreading and anticipating what this year will bring. When I was younger I always imagined the most romantic Valentine's day ever. As I mentioned before, I have a very active imagination.
I almost miss the days when February 14th was nothing more than a paper card with a picture of a kitty that reads: "You're puuuuurfect, Valentine!"
Back then it didn't seem to matter much. I remember when I was little my sister and I would rush home from school with our little bags full of valentines from our classmates. We'd go door to door in our neighborhood and give our cards away to everyone, and told them that we loved them. If they weren't home, we'd tape it to their door and watch out the window until they got home. Back then, that was satisfying.
Now, I'm eighteen, and the world just isn't as kind. I'm sure if taped a paper Valentine to my neighbor's door that has "To: Lacey From: blah blah" they'd get highly upset.
I don't really know the point of this blog. I guess I just wanted to talk, but, that's it. Valentine's Day is six days away, and all I've got is a heart shaped box of gross chocolates, and a single pink rose for my daddy coming my way. That's just alright with me. I mean, it is the thought that counts, right?
-L

Life (n) [lahyf]: the general or universal condition of human existence

Since I can remember, I've always loved kids. I've been around babies and toddlers since I was one myself. To me, being around kids is second nature. I for one cannot wait until I can have kids of my own. Anyone who knows me knows that the one thing I want most out of life is to have kids of my own. Don't worry, I won't be having kids anytime soon. In the last year a lot of people who are close to me have had kids. It gets me so excited! It amazes me to watch them develop their own personalities. My nephew is five years old. I like to think that I've played a big roll in helping to raise him. He started Kindergarten this year, and he comes home from school saying words like "humongous" and "ridiculous". He can read my text messages, and his memory is unbelievable. I love every second of watching him and my niece grow up. I lost my faith a long time ago, but watching them grow and learn gives me a little hope.
Now here is my point in all of this. No, I haven't come to come life changing realization, but I have decided what I want to do with my life. I want to be a special education teacher. Special needs people are probably the best people in the world. They are real. Their feelings and words are nothing short of genuine.
In eight grade with the help of a teacher, Kate Everett-Gholston, I got the opportunity to spend an hour a week with the special needs kids at my school. It changed my life. There are a boy in the class, Ryan. Ryan didn't talk. We worked with him all year, and by the end of the year the most we got out of him was a barely audible whisper. Ryan touched my heart the most. I could look in his eyes and I just wanted to cry for him. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have a voice. However, he was always willing to offer a smile, or a hug, or the occasional kiss on the cheek.
Once I got to high school I didn't see the kids anymore. One day in tenth grade I was going to the bathroom and the tables were set up for lunch. I heart someone yell "Cousin!" I looked up and saw the special needs kids eating their lunch. Before I could register what was going on Ryan's arms were wrapped around my waist and he was crying. He said "Lacey, I talk," It was quiet, but he said it, and that's all I needed. It wasn't long before I had two more sets of arms wrapped around me, Jasmine and Ebony. Two girls from the class I helped with in eighth grade. I was so happy, I couldn't stop crying. The teachers were obviously watching the whole time, I guess not sure of what to do. I walked them back to their lunch table and told their teacher that we were old friends. Ryan, Jasmine, and Ebony introduced me to all of their new friends, each one excited to meet me. I kept looking at their teacher, worried she would be angry that I wasn't in class, but instead she just studied me, smiling.
When I got ready to leave she stopped me and asked how I knew them, and I told her the story. She just looked at me and said "thank you." It was the most sincere thank you that I have ever heard. She told me those kids need to be around more people like me. Until recently, I didn't know what she meant by it. It takes a special person to have that kind of effect on those kids.
Now, almost everyday, toward the end of second block I  sneak away from class to go see those kids. Ryan calls me Cousin. Everyone else just calls me friend. I love them all so much. They hold a VERY special place in my heart.
I know it's hard for some people to understand. That day, I just knew I wanted more and more moments just like that one. I love knowing how happy they get to see me; their faces just light up. It's amazing.
So, there you go. THAT is why I chose this career. It is life changing. I cannot wait!

-L

friend·ship (n) [frend-ship]: the state of being a friend

"I get by with a little help from my friends," -The Beatles.
That quote speaks so true. Recently I've needed my friends more than I ever have before. Not only are they super amazing, but they're also good for a laugh or two when I need it the most. Without them I would be so lost and alone. To sum it all up, they are everything to me, and I owe them so much. So, here it goes.
Ashley Breana Kilgore:
Ashley and I met in sixth grade P.E. I'm still not completely sure how the friendship started, but I do know that now we're unstoppable. She's my rock, my ride-or-die chick, my sister from another mister. What ever I choose to call her it still stands that she is my absolute best friend. I can't even begin to describe what we've been through together. We have so many inside jokes that it's hard for people to keep up with our conversations. I think we kind of prefer it that way. Of course we fight, but we always work through it. I can't wait to see where life takes us.
Michael Aaron Spraggins:
Aaron, or as we like to call him, Spraggy, is the best. I met him when he moved to Opelika from Auburn in eighth grade. He was that awkward kid that kept to him self. The same week me moved to Opelika, his step-dad got killed in a motorcycle accident. Of course, my heart went out to him. Me and some friends we to the viewing just for some support, and as they say "the rest was history," I didn't really start  being friends with him till sometime in December of that year. But since then, I haven't been able to get rid of him. He and I go on tons of adventures together. I think it goes without saying that he is my partner in crime. Even though Spraggy gets on my last nerve sometimes, I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Carson Alizabeth Bailey:
I played basketball with Carson in fourth grade. Well, my team played her team. We met again in sixth grade P.E. , yes, the same class as Ashley. It's hard to explain my friendship with Carson. I am always laughing when I'm with her. I've never been in a fight with her, of even been mad at this girl. Carson and I are so much alike that it is almost scary. Spend a few hours with us, and you'll see exactly what I mean.
Walter Lee Shealey:
I met Walter when he was dating a friend of mine. He is so quiet, but believe me, he has a lot to say. At first he didn't really talk to me, but as he got to know me I couldn't get him to shut up. I wouldn't have it any other way. Walter and I are very good friends. I tell him absolutely everything, and he has never once judged me. I don't get to see him very often but I still talk to him pretty much every day. He's one of the few people who can completely turn my day around just by saying "hello,". I love him to death. He's going to tell me that writing about him is a waste of my time, but he doesn't realized how much he means to me. He means a lot, btw.
Ashleigh Thomas:
Sorry I don't remember her middle name. Anyway, when I first knew of Ashleigh I hated her more then I'd ever hated anyone. She dated a guy whom I used to be really close to, and I'd heard horrible things about her. Eventually We settled things and now she's a really close friend of mine. She's amazing, and she's so strong. I could never deal with half of the things she does. She's pregnant with Justin's baby. Justin is the guy that I used to be close to. Skylar Maria's arrival is much anticipated. I can't wait to hold her and love her, and do everything I can to help Ashleigh raise her. She and I haven't been friends for very long, but I know that one day we will be very close.
Tiffany Rochelle Weaver:
Tiffany was one of the first people I met in middle school. She was so weird, and I was amazed by her. Now, she is still weird, but I love her a lot more now. I don't get to see her much, but when I do get to see her, we're always loud. She's pregnant with my future god child.  Tiffany and I always had dreams of our future. Now that it's finally happening, I hate to see that I don't see her in it as much as we'd planned. I still love Tiffany with all of my heart, despite how much we fight.
So you see, I have a different history with each of my friends. They are all so special to me. I love each and every one of you guys, and thank you so much for being there for me when I need ya'll the most. You're so amazing.
-L

Respect (V) [ri-spekt]: to show regard or consideration for

Our parents always raised us to respect our elders. I am very good with being respectful to adults. There comes a point where that adult takes things too far, and I have a hard time being respectful. After all, why give respect when it isn't received?
I believe in respect, chivalry, and southern hospitality. I say yes Ma'am/Sir and no Ma'am/ Sir, and I'm always sure to say please and thank you.
Sometimes I feel like adults think just because we're 'kids' they don't owe us the same respect that we owe them. Sure, they're older and wiser, but we're learning. They are not setting a good example for our younger generations. I say this at the risk of sounding like a child, this isn't fair! Why should I kiss your butt just to be treated like dirt? Every now and then a thank you is in order.
Sorry this blog is so..short and full of complaints. I just really needed to get that off of my mind.
-L

Love (n) [luhv] : the object, thing, or person so liked

"To love another person is to see the face of God." - Les Miserables
The truth is, I know absolutely nothing about love. I don't think anyone does. All I know is, people would give anything for it, myself included. Without love, we are nothing. Love can be anything;  Love for your family, or your pet, even a hobby, or a place. I love a lot of things, and those things I love truly make me happy. I love my dog, Gizzy, I love my family and friends. I love to read and write. I love so very much to be on stage performing, or just being in the theatre in general. I could be in there all alone, and I'd be totally content. I love the sunshine. When it is cloudy outside I just feel sad. Most of all, I love helping other people. I love knowing that I can change someone's life, even if it is a very small change. There are so many things I love. Everyone deserves to find that one special thing and person. I cannot say whether I have really even been in love. People say you just know. It is hard to imagine loving someone so much. Giving them every ounce of love you can muster, and trusting them not to throw that love away. That has happened to everyone at some point in their life, right? Heart break is inevitable when you're a teenage girl.
I hope that when I fall in love, it is as magical as people say. You know, the weak knees, butterflies, the uncontrollable smiles. I want it all. More than anything I want to be that girl. The one who makes his day just by being around.
I actually think about this kind of stuff a lot. I know I'm young, but life moves so fast. I just want to be prepared for it. I always wonder who I'm going to end up with. What if it is someone I know now? What if it is the very last person I would have thought I'd ever fall in love with? I love how unpredictable life can be. I think I'm in love with the thought of falling in love. It is all so exciting, but I have plenty of time to fall in love. Like my mom likes to say, "We'll cross that bridge when it gets here,"
-L

anticipation:(n) [an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn] expectation or hope.

I'm currently in the last fourth months of my high school career. Anticipation is building up so quickly that at times I literally feel like I'm going to pop. Showchoir season is about to be in motion. The first competition is this Saturday in Montgomery. Then there is a ton of traveling I'll  be doing in march. Not to mention, a certain special someone's birthday is in March. *ahem* Walter. Then before I know it, it'll be time for Sweeney Todd. I'm so beyond pumped for this. Sweeney is one of my favorite musicals. I know it is gonna be crazy-stressful, but I can handle it. The two things that I'm absolutely most excited for is prom and of course, GRADUATION!
I'm going to prom with one of the most amazing guys I've ever met. I can't fully describe my relationship with Walter. It's one of those things were 'so close, yet so far away'. Not just that he live all the way in Beulah, but that we're really different people. He's so.. quiet, and I'm so... me. He's honestly one of the closest guy friends I've ever had in my entire life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so beyond thankful for having him be in my life. Since I know you're going to read this, I love you Walt. You're the best... and you are NOT a waste of time. Even if you were, I couldn't think of anyone better to 'waste my time' on.
Graduation can't get here soon enough.The day I walk across that stage, everything will change before I  have time to realize what is going on. I'm not sure where life will take me. But I am determined to make something of myself. I want to make my family proud. I want to be the one person that actually chased their dreams, and the one who didn't settle for mediocre. I can't wait to hold not only a high school diploma, but a college diploma too. I'm going places. You just wait and see.
-L